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Act 4, Scene 1

A street.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM.

Mistress Page

Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?

Quickly

Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but, truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Mistress Page

I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school. Look, where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see. How now. Sir Hugh! no school to-day?

Evans

No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

Quickly

Blessing of his heart!

Mistress Page

Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence —

Evans

Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.

Mistress Page

Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Evans

William, how many numbers is in nouns?

William Page

Two.

Quickly

Truly. I thought there had been one number more, because they say, “'Od's nouns.”

Evans

Peace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William?

William Page

Pulcher.

Quickly

Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.

Evans

You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray you, peace. What is “lapis,” William?

William Page

A stone.

Evans

And what is “a stone,” William?

William Page

A pebble.

Evans

No, it is “lapis:” I pray you, remember in your prain.

William Page

Lapis.

Evans

That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

William Page

Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.

Evans

Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus. Well what is your accusative case?

William Page

Accusativo, hinc.

Evans

I pray you, have your remembrance, child; accusativo, hung, hang, hog.

Quickly

“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

Evans

Leave your prabbles. 'oman. What is the focative case, William?

William Page

O, — vocativo, O.

Evans

Remember, William; focative is caret.

Quickly

And that's a good root.

Evans

'Oman, forbear.

Mistress Page

Peace!

Evans

What is your genitive case plural, William?

William Page

Genitive case!

Evans

Ay.

William Page

Genitivo, — horum, harum, horum.

Quickly

Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name her, child, if she be a whore.

Evans

For shame, 'oman.

Quickly

You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves, and to call “horum:” fie upon you!

Evans

'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

Mistress Page

Prithee, hold thy peace.

Evans

Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

William Page

Forsooth, I have forgot.

Evans

It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your “quies,” your “quaes,” and your “quods,” you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.

Mistress Page

He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Evans

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

Mistress Page

Adieu, good Sir Hugh. Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.