Act 2, Scene 3
A field near Windsor.
Enter CAIUS and RUGBY.
Caius
Jack Rugby!
Rugby
Sir?
Caius
Vat is de clock, Jack?
Rugby
'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
Caius
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
Rugby
He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him, if he came.
Caius
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
Rugby
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
Caius
villainy, take your rapier.
Rugby
Forbear; here's company.
Host
Bless thee, bully-doctor!
Shallow
Save you, Master Doctor Caius!
Page
Now, good master doctor!
Slender
Give you good morrow, sir.
Caius
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
Host
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully-stale? is he dead?
Caius
By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face.
Host
Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy!
Caius
I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
Shallow
He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
Page
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
Shallow
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.
Page
'Tis true, Master Shallow.
Shallow
It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.
Host
Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.
Caius
Mockvater! vat is dat?
Host
Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
Caius
By gar, then, I have as mush mockvater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.
Host
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
Caius
Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
Host
That is, he will make thee amends.
Caius
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.
Host
And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
Caius
Me tank you for dat.
Host
And, moreover, bully, — but first, master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.
Page
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host
He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
Shallow
We will do it.
Page, Shallow, and Slender
Adieu, good master doctor.
Caius
By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Host
Let him die. But first sheathe thy impatience, throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried game? said I well?
Caius
By gar, me dank you vor dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
Host
For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?
Caius
By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host
Let us wag, then.
Caius
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.