Act 3, Scene 5
Another room in LEONATO'S house.
Enter LEONATO, with DOGBERRY and VERGES.
Leonato
What would you with me, honest neighbour?
Dogberry
Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you that decerns you nearly.
Leonato
Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.
Dogberry
Marry, this it is, sir.
Verges
Yes, in truth it is, sir.
Leonato
What is it, my good friends?
Dogberry
Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.
Verges
Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I.
Dogberry
Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.
Leonato
Neighbours, you are tedious.
Dogberry
It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor duke's officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.
Leonato
All thy tediousness on me, ah?
Dogberry
Yea, an 'twere a thousand pound more than 'tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any man in the city; and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.
Verges
And so am I.
Leonato
I would fain know what you have to say.
Verges
Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting your worship's presence, ha' ta'en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina.
Dogberry
A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, When the age is in, the wit is out: God help us! it is a world to see. Well said, i' faith, neighbour Verges: well, God's a good man; an two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i' faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be worshipped; all men are not alike; alas, good neighbour!
Leonato
Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.
Dogberry
Gifts that God gives.
Leonato
I must leave you.
Dogberry
One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.
Leonato
Take their examination yourself and bring it me: I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.
Dogberry
It shall be suffigance.
Leonato
Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well.
Messenger
My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.
Leonato
I'll wait upon them: I am ready.
Dogberry
Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis Seacole; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men.
Verges
And we must do it wisely.
Dogberry
We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here's that shall drive some of them to a noncome: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication and meet me at the gaol.