Armado

Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?

Moth

A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.

Armado

Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing, dear imp.

Moth

No, no; O Lord, sir, no.

Armado

How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?

Moth

By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signor.

Armado

Why tough signor? why tough signor?

Moth

Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal?

Armado

I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which we may nominate tender.

Moth

And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough.

Armado

Pretty and apt.

Moth

How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or I apt, and my saying pretty?

Armado

Thou pretty, because little.

Moth

Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?

Armado

And therefore apt, because quick.

Moth

Speak you this in my praise, master?

Armado

In thy condign praise.

Moth

I will praise an eel with the same praise.

Armado

What, that an eel is ingenious?

Moth

That an eel is quick.

Armado

I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood.

Moth

I am answered, sir.

Armado

I love not to be crossed.

Moth

He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.

Armado

I have promised to study three years with the duke.

Moth

You may do it in an hour, sir.

Armado

Impossible.

Moth

How many is one thrice told?

Armado

I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.

Moth

You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.

Armado

I confess both: they are both the varnish of a complete man.

Moth

Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.

Armado

It doth amount to one more than two.

Moth

Which the base vulgar do call three.

Armado

True.

Moth

Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is three studied, ere ye'll thrice wink: and how easy it is to put “years' to the word “three,” and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.

Armado

A most fine figure!

Moth

To prove you a cipher.

Armado

I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men have been in love?

Moth

Hercules, master.

Armado

Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.

Moth

Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town gates on his back like a porter: and he was in love.

Armado

O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love, too. Who was Samson's love, my dear Moth?

Moth

A woman, master.

Armado

Of what complexion?

Moth

Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.

Armado

Tell me precisely of what complexion.

Moth

Of the sea-water green, sir.

Armado

Is that one of the four complexions?

Moth

As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.

Armado

Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.

Moth

It was so, sir; for she had a green wit.

Armado

My love is most immaculate white and red.

Moth

Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours.

Armado

Define, define, well-educated infant.

Moth

My father's wit and my mother's tongue, assist me!

Armado

Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and pathetical!

Moth

If she be made of white and red,

Her faults will ne'er be known,

For blush in cheeks by faults are bred

And fears by pale white shown:

Then if she fear, or be to blame,

By this you shall not know,

For still her cheeks possess the same

Which native she doth owe.

Armado

Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?

Moth

The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since: but I think now 'tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune.

Armado

I will have that subject newly writ o'er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.

Moth

To be whipped; and yet a better love than my master.

Armado

Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.

Moth

And that's great marvel, loving a light wench.

Armado

I say, sing.

Moth

Forbear till this company be past.

Dull

Sir, the duke's pleasure is, that you keep Costard safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight nor no penance; but 'a must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well.

Armado

I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!

Jaquenetta

Man?

Armado

I will visit thee at the lodge.

Jaquenetta

That's hereby.

Armado

I know where it is situate.

Jaquenetta

Lord, how wise you are!

Armado

I will tell thee wonders.

Jaquenetta

With that face?

Armado

I love thee.

Jaquenetta

So I heard you say.

Armado

And so, farewell.

Jaquenetta

Fair weather after you!

Dull

Come, Jaquenetta, away!

Armado

Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.

Costard

Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomach.

Armado

Thou shalt be heavily punished.

Costard

I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded.

Armado

Take away this villain; shut him up.

Moth

Come, you transgressing slave; away!

Costard

Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.

Moth

No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.

Costard

Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see.

Moth

What shall some see?

Costard

Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank God I have as little patience as another man; and therefore I can be quiet.

Armado

I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club; and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard's rapier. The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello he regards not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust, rapier! be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.