King

Welcome, dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern!

Moreover that we much did long to see you,

The need we have to use you did provoke

Our hasty sending. Something have you heard

Of Hamlet's transformation; so call it,

Sith nor the exterior nor the inward man

Resembles that it was. What it should be,

More than his father's death, that thus hath put him

So much from the understanding of himself,

I cannot dream of: I entreat you both,

That, being of so young days brought up with him,

And sith so neighboured to his youth and haviour,

That you vouchsafe your rest here in our court

Some little time: so by your companies

To draw him on to pleasures, and to gather,

So much as from occasion you may glean,

Whether aught, to us unknown, afflicts him thus,

That, opened, lies within our remedy.

Gertrude

Good gentlemen, he hath much talked of you;

And sure I am two men there is not living

To whom he more adheres. If it will please you

To show us so much gentry and good will

As to expend your time with us awhile,

For the supply and profit of our hope,

Your visitation shall receive such thanks

As fits a king's remembrance.

Rosencrantz

Both your majesties

Might, by the sovereign power you have of us,

Put your dread pleasures more into command

Than to entreaty.

Guildenstern

But we both obey,

And here give up ourselves, in the full bent

To lay our service freely at your feet,

To be commanded.

King

Thanks, Rosencrantz and gentle Guildenstern.

Gertrude

Thanks, Guildenstern and gentle Rosencrantz:

And I beseech you instantly to visit

My too much changed son. Go, some of you,

And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.

Guildenstern

Heavens make our presence and our practices

Pleasant and helpful to him!

Gertrude

Ay, amen! Exeunt Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and some Attendants.Enter POLONIUS.

Polonius

The ambassadors from Norway, my good lord,

Are joyfully returned.

King

Thou still hast been the father of good news.

Polonius

Have I, my lord? I assure my good liege,

I hold my duty, as I hold my soul,

Both to my God and to my gracious king:

And I do think, or else this brain of mine

Hunts not the trail of policy so sure

As it hath used to do, that I have found

The very cause of Hamlet's lunacy.

King

O, speak of that; that do I long to hear.

Polonius

Give first admittance to the ambassadors;

My news shall be the fruit to that great feast.

King

Thyself do grace to them, and bring them in. Exit Polonius.

He tells me, my dear Gertrude, he hath found

The head and source of all your son's distemper.

Gertrude

I doubt it is no other but the main;

His father's death, and our o'erhasty marriage.

King

Well, we shall sift him. Re-enter POLONIUS, with VOLTIMAND and CORNELIUS. Welcome, my good friends!

Say, Voltimand, what from our brother Norway?

Voltimand

Most fair return of greetings and desires.

Upon our first, he sent out to suppress

His nephew's levies; which to him appeared

To be a preparation 'gainst the Polack;

But, better looked into, he truly found

It was against your highness: whereat grieved,

That so his sickness, age and impotence

Was falsely borne in hand, sends out arrests

On Fortinbras; which he, in brief, obeys;

Receives rebuke from Norway, and in fine

Makes vow before his uncle never more

To give the assay of arms against your majesty.

Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy,

Gives him threescore thousand crowns in annual fee,

And his commission to employ those soldiers,

So levied as before, against the Polack:

With an entreaty, herein further shown, Giving a paper.

That it might please you to give quiet pass

Through your dominions for this enterprise,

On such regards of safety and allowance

As therein are set down.

King

It likes us well;

And at our more considered time we'll read,

Answer, and think upon this business.

Meantime we thank you for your well-took labour:

Go to your rest; at night we'll feast together:

Most welcome home! Exeunt Voltimand and Cornelius.

Polonius

This business is well ended.

My liege, and madam, to expostulate

What majesty should be, what duty is,

Why day is day, night night, and time is time,

Were nothing but to waste night, day and time.

Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,

And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,

I will be brief: your noble son is mad:

Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,

What is't but to be nothing else but mad?

But let that go.

Gertrude

More matter, with less art.

Polonius

Madam, I swear I use no art at all.

That he's mad, 'tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity;

And pity 'tis 'tis true: a foolish figure;

But farewell it, for I will use no art.

Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains

That we find out the cause of this effect,

Or rather say, the cause of this defect,

For this effect defective comes by cause:

Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.

Perpend.

I have a daughter — have while she is mine

Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,

Hath given me this: now gather, and surmise.

Reads.

Reads.

Gertrude

Came this from Hamlet to her?

Polonius

Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful.

Reads.

This, in obedience, hath my daughter shown me,

And more above, hath his solicitings,

As they fell out by time, by means and place,

All given to mine ear.

King

But how hath she

Received his love?

Polonius

What do you think of me?

King

As of a man faithful and honourable.

Polonius

I would fain prove so. But what might you think,

When I had seen this hot love on the wing

As I perceived it, I must tell you that,

Before my daughter told me — what might you,

Or my dear majesty your queen here, think,

If I had played the desk or table-book,

Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb,

Or looked upon this love with idle sight;

What might you think? No, I went round to work,

And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:

“Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy star;

This must not be:” and then I prescripts gave her,

That she should lock herself from his resort,

Admit no messengers, receive no tokens.

Which done, she took the fruits of my advice;

And he repelled, a short tale to make

Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,

Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,

Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension,

Into the madness wherein now he raves,

And all we mourn for.

King

Do you think 'tis this?

Gertrude

It may be, very like.

Polonius

Hath there been such a time I would fain know that

That I have positively said “'Tis so,”

When it proved otherwise?

King

Not that I know.

Polonius

Pointing to his head and shoulders

Take this from this, if this be otherwise:

If circumstances lead me, I will find

Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed

Within the centre.

King

How may we try it further?

Polonius

You know, sometimes he walks four hours together

Here in the lobby.

Gertrude

So he does indeed.

Polonius

At such a time I'll loose my daughter to him:

Be you and I behind an arras then;

Mark the encounter: if he love her not

And be not from his reason fall'n thereon,

Let me be no assistant for a state,

But keep a farm and carters.

King

We will try it.

Gertrude

But, look, where sadly the poor wretch comes reading.

Polonius

Away, I do beseech you, both away:

I'll board him presently. Exeunt King, Queen, and Attendants.Enter HAMLET, reading.

O, give me leave:

How does my good Lord Hamlet?

Hamlet

Well, God-a-mercy.

Polonius

Do you know me, my lord?

Hamlet

Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.

Polonius

Not I, my lord.

Hamlet

Then I would you were so honest a man.

Polonius

Honest, my lord!

Hamlet

Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.

Polonius

That's very true, my lord.

Hamlet

For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a good kissing carrion, Have you a daughter?

Polonius

I have, my lord.

Hamlet

Let her not walk i' the sun: conception is a blessing: but as your daughter may conceive. Friend, look to't.

Polonius

How say you by that? Still harping on my daughter: yet he knew me not at first; 'a said I was a fishmonger: 'a is far gone; and truly in my youth I suffered much extremity for love; very near this. I'll speak to him again. What do you read, my lord?

Hamlet

Words, words, words.

Polonius

What is the matter, my lord?

Hamlet

Between who?

Polonius

I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.

Hamlet

Slanders, sir: for the satirical rogue says here that old men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams: all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down, for yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am, if like a crab you could go backward.

Polonius

Though this be madness, yet there is method in't. Will you walk out of the air, my lord?

Hamlet

Into my grave.

Polonius

Indeed, that's out of the air. How pregnant sometimes his replies are! a happiness that often madness hits on, which reason and sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will leave him, and suddenly contrive the means of meeting between him and my daughter. My lord, I will take my leave of you.

Hamlet

You cannot take from me any thing that I will not more willingly part withal: except my life, except my life, except my life.

Polonius

Fare you well, my lord.

Hamlet

These tedious old fools!

Polonius

You go to seek the Lord Hamlet; there he is.

Rosencrantz

God save you, sir!

Guildenstern

My honoured lord!

Rosencrantz

My most dear lord!

Hamlet

My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do you both?

Rosencrantz

As the indifferent children of the earth.

Guildenstern

Happy, in that we are not overhappy; On fortune's cap we are not the very button.

Hamlet

Nor the soles of her shoe?

Rosencrantz

Neither, my lord.

Hamlet

Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favours?

Guildenstern

'Faith, her privates we.

Hamlet

In the secret parts of fortune? O, most true; she is a strumpet. What news?

Rosencrantz

None, my lord, but the world's grown honest.

Hamlet

Then is doomsday near: but your news is not true. Let me question more in particular: what have you, my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?

Guildenstern

Prison, my lord!

Hamlet

Denmark's a prison.

Rosencrantz

Then is the world one.

Hamlet

A goodly one; in which there are many confines, wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.

Rosencrantz

We think not so, my lord.

Hamlet

Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me it is a prison.

Rosencrantz

Why then, your ambition makes it one; 'tis too narrow for your mind.

Hamlet

O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.

Guildenstern

Which dreams indeed are ambition, for the very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.

Hamlet

A dream itself is but a shadow.

Rosencrantz

Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality that it is but a shadow's shadow.

Hamlet

Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and outstretched heroes the beggars' shadows. Shall we to the court? for, by my fay, I cannot reason.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

We'll wait upon you.

Hamlet

No such matter: I will not sort you with the rest of my servants, for, to speak to you like an honest man, I am most dreadfully attended. But, in the beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore?

Rosencrantz

To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.

Hamlet

Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I thank you: and sure, dear friends, my thanks are too dear a halfpenny. Were you not sent for? Is it your own inclining? Is it a free visitation? Come, come deal justly with me: come, come; nay, speak.

Guildenstern

What should we say, my lord?

Hamlet

Any thing, but to the purpose. You were sent for; and there is a kind of confession in your looks which your modesties have not craft enough to colour: I know the good king and queen have sent for you.

Rosencrantz

To what end, my lord?

Hamlet

That you must teach me. But let me conjure you, by the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what more dear a better proposer can charge you withal, be even and direct with me, whether you were sent for, or no?

Rosencrantz

What say you?

Hamlet

Nay, then, I have an eye of you. If you love me, hold not off.

Guildenstern

My lord, we were sent for.

Hamlet

I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king and queen moult no feather. I have of late — but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not me: nor women neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

Rosencrantz

My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

Hamlet

Why did ye laugh then, when I said “man delights not me”?

Rosencrantz

To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what lenten entertainment the players shall receive from you: we coted them on the way; and hither are they coming, to offer you service.

Hamlet

He that plays the king shall be welcome; his majesty shall have tribute on me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle a' the sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt for't. What players are they?

Rosencrantz

Even those you were wont to take such delight in, the tragedians of the city.

Hamlet

How chances it they travel? their residence, both in reputation and profit, was better both ways.

Rosencrantz

I think their inhibition comes by the means of the late innovation.

Hamlet

Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was in the city? are they so followed?

Rosencrantz

No, indeed, are they not.

Hamlet

How comes it? do they grow rusty?

Rosencrantz

Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace: but there is, sir, an aery of children, little eyases, that cry out on the top of question, and are most tyrannically clapped for't: these are now the fashion, and so berattle the common stages — so they call them that many wearing rapiers are afraid of goose-quills and dare scarce come thither.

Hamlet

What, are they children? who maintains 'em? how are they escoted? Will they pursue the quality no longer than they can sing? will they not say afterwards, if they should grow themselves to common players as it is most like, if their means are no better their writers do them wrong, to make them exclaim against their own succession?

Rosencrantz

'Faith, there has been much to do on both sides; and the nation holds it no sin to tarre them to controversy: there was, for a while, no money bid for argument, unless the poet and the player went to cuffs in the question.

Hamlet

Is't possible?

Guildenstern

O, there has been much throwing about of brains.

Hamlet

Do the boys carry it away?

Rosencrantz

Ay, that they do, my lord; Hercules and his load too.

Hamlet

It is not very strange; for my uncle is king of Denmark, and those that would make mouths at him while my father lived, give twenty, forty, fifty, an hundred ducats a-piece for his picture in little. 'Sblood, there is something in this more than natural, if philosophy could find it out.

Guildenstern

There are the players.

Hamlet

Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands, come then: the appurtenance of welcome is fashion and ceremony: let me comply with you in this garb, lest my extent to the players, which, I tell you, must show fairly outward, should more appear like entertainment than yours. You are welcome: but my uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.

Guildenstern

In what, my dear lord?

Hamlet

I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.

Polonius

Well be with you, gentlemen!

Hamlet

Hark you, Guildenstern; and you too: at each ear a hearer: that great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling-clouts.

Rosencrantz

Happily he is the second time come to them; for they say an old man is twice a child.

Hamlet

I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players; mark it. You say right, sir: a' Monday morning; 'twas then indeed.

Polonius

My lord, I have news to tell you.

Hamlet

My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor in Rome,

Polonius

The actors are come hither, my lord.

Hamlet

Buzz, buzz!

Polonius

Upon my honour,

Hamlet

Then came each actor on his ass,

Polonius

The best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy, history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral, scene individable, or poem unlimited: Seneca cannot be too heavy, nor Plautus too light. For the law of writ and the liberty, these are the only men.

Hamlet

O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!

Polonius

What a treasure had he, my lord?

Hamlet

Why,

Polonius

Still on my daughter.

Hamlet

Am I not i' the right, old Jephthah?

Polonius

If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter that I love passing well.

Hamlet

Nay, that follows not.

Polonius

What follows then, my lord?

Hamlet

“As by lot, God wot,”

“It came to pass, as most like it was,”

Enter four or five Players.

First Player

What speech, my good lord?

Hamlet

I heard thee speak me a speech once, but it was never acted; or, if it was, not above once; for the play, I remember, pleased not the million; 'twas caviare to the general: but it was — as I received it, and others, whose judgements in such matters cried in the top of mine — an excellent play, well digested in the scenes, set down with as much modesty as cunning. I remember, one said there were no sallets in the lines to make the matter savoury, nor no matter in the phrase that might indict the author of affectation; but called it an honest method, as wholesome as sweet, and by very much more handsome than fine. One speech in't I chiefly loved: 'twas AEneas' tale to Dido; and thereabout of it especially, where he speaks of Priam's slaughter: if it live in your memory, begin at this line: let me see, let me see 'tis not so: it begins with Pyrrhus: So, proceed you.

Polonius

'Fore God, my lord, well spoken, with good accent and good discretion.

First Player

Polonius

This is too long.

Hamlet

It shall to the barber's, with your beard. Prithee, say on: he's for a jig or a tale of bawdry, or he sleeps: say on: come to Hecuba.

First Player

Hamlet

“The mobled queen?”

Polonius

That's good; “mobled queen” is good.

First Player

Polonius

Look, whether he has not turned his colour and has tears in's eyes. Prithee, no more.

Hamlet

'Tis well; I'll have thee speak out the rest of this soon. Good my lord, will you see the players well bestowed? Do you hear, let them be well used; for they are the abstract and brief chronicles of the time: after your death you were better have a bad epitaph than their ill report while you live.

Polonius

My lord, I will use them according to their desert.

Hamlet

God's bodkin, man, much better: use every man after his desert, and who shall scape whipping? Use them after your own honour and dignity: the less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty. Take them in.

Polonius

Come, sirs.

Hamlet

Follow him, friends: we'll hear a play to-morrow. Dost thou hear me, old friend; can you play the Murder of Gonzago?

First Player

Ay, my lord.

Hamlet

We'll ha't to-morrow night. You could, for need, study a speech of some dozen or sixteen lines, which I would set down and insert in't, could you not?

First Player

Ay, my lord.

Hamlet

Very well. Follow that lord; and look you mock him not. My good friends, I'll leave you till night: you are welcome to Elsinore.

Rosencrantz

Good my lord!

Hamlet

Ay, so, God buy to you; Exeunt Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Now I am alone.

O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!

Is it not monstrous that this player here,

But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,

Could force his soul so to his own conceit

That from her working all the visage wanned,

Tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect,

A broken voice, and his whole function suiting

With forms to his conceit? and all for nothing!

For Hecuba!

What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,

That he should weep for her? What would he do,

Had he the motive and the cue for passion

That I have? He would drown the stage with tears

And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,

Make mad the guilty and appall the free,

Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed

The very faculties of eyes and ears. Yet I,

A dull and muddy-mettled rascal, peak,

Like John-a-dreams, unpregnant of my cause,

And can say nothing; no, not for a king,

Upon whose property and most dear life

A damned defeat was made. Am I a coward?

Who calls me villain? breaks my pate across?

Plucks off my beard, and blows it in my face?

Tweaks me by the nose? gives me the lie i' the throat,

As deep as to the lungs? who does me this?

Ha!

'Swounds, I should take it: for it cannot be

But I am pigeon-livered and lack gall

To make oppression bitter, or ere this

I should ha' fatted all the region kites

With this slave's offal: bloody, bawdy villain!

Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain!

Why, what an ass am I! This is most brave,

That I, the son of a dear father murdered,

Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell,

Must, like a whore, unpack my heart with words,

And fall a-cursing, like a very drab,

A stallion! Fie upon't! foh!

About, my brains! Hum — I have heard

That guilty creatures sitting at a play

Have by the very cunning of the scene

Been struck so to the soul that presently

They have proclaimed their malefactions;

For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak

With most miraculous organ. I'll have these players

Play something like the murder of my father

Before mine uncle: I'll observe his looks;

I'll tent him to the quick: if 'a do blench,

I know my course. The spirit that I have seen

May be a devil: and the devil hath power

To assume a pleasing shape; yea, and perhaps

Out of my weakness and my melancholy,

As he is very potent with such spirits,

Abuses me to damn me: I'll have grounds

More relative than this: the play's the thing

Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king. Exit.