Cleopatra

Give me some music; music, moody food

Of us that trade in love.

Attendant

The music, ho! Enter MARDIAN the Eunuch.

Cleopatra

Let it alone; let's to billiards: come, Charmian.

Charmian

My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.

Cleopatra

As well a woman with an eunuch played

As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?

Mardian

As well as I can, madam.

Cleopatra

And when good will is showed, though't come too short,

The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now:

Give me mine angle; we'll to the river: there,

My music playing far off, I will betray

Tawny-finned fishes; my bended hook shall pierce

Their slimy jaws; and, as I draw them up,

I'll think them every one an Antony,

And say “Ah, ha! y' are caught.”

Charmian

'Twas merry when

You wagered on your angling; when your diver

Did hang a salt-fish on his hook, which he

With fervency drew up.

Cleopatra

That time, O times!

I laughed him out of patience; and that night

I laughed him into patience; and next morn,

Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed;

Then put my tires and mantles on him, whilst

I wore his sword Philippan. Enter a Messenger. O, from Italy

Ram thou thy fruitful tidings in mine ears,

That long time have been barren.

Messenger

Madam, madam,

Cleopatra

Antonio's dead! If thou say so, villain,

Thou kill'st thy mistress: but well and free,

If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here

My bluest veins to kiss; a hand that kings

Have lipped, and trembled kissing.

Messenger

First, madam, he is well.

Cleopatra

Why, there's more gold.

But, sirrah, mark, we use

To say the dead are well: bring it to that,

The gold I give thee will I melt and pour

Down thy ill-uttering throat.

Messenger

Good madam, hear me.

Cleopatra

Well, go to, I will;

But there's no goodness in thy face: if Antony

Be free and healthful, so tart a favour

To trumpet such good tidings! If not well,

Thou shouldst come like a Fury crowned with snakes,

Not like a formal man.

Messenger

Will't please you hear me?

Cleopatra

I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st:

Yet, if thou say Antony lives, 'tis well,

Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him,

I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail

Rich pearls upon thee.

Messenger

Madam, he's well.

Cleopatra

Well said.

Messenger

And friends with Caesar.

Cleopatra

Th' art an honest man.

Messenger

Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.

Cleopatra

Make thee a fortune from me.

Messenger

But yet, madam

Cleopatra

I do not like “But yet,” it does allay

The good precedence; fie upon “But yet”!

“But yet” is as a gaoler to bring forth

Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend,

Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,

The good and bad together: he's friends with Caesar:

In state of health thou say'st; and thou say'st free.

Messenger

Free, madam! no; I made no such report:

He's bound unto Octavia.

Cleopatra

For what good turn?

Messenger

For the best turn i' the bed.

Cleopatra

I am pale, Charmian.

Messenger

Madam, he's married to Octavia.

Cleopatra

The most infectious pestilence upon thee! Strikes him down.

Messenger

Good madam, patience.

Cleopatra

What say you? Hence, Strikes him again.

Horrible villain! or I'll spurn thine eyes

Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head: She hales him up and down.

Thou shalt be whipped with wire, and stewed in brine,

Smarting in lingering pickle.

Messenger

Gracious madam,

I that do bring the news made not the match.

Cleopatra

Say 'tis not so, a province I will give thee,

And make thy fortunes proud: the blow thou hadst

Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage;

And I will boot thee with what gift beside

Thy modesty can beg.

Messenger

He's married, madam.

Cleopatra

Rogue, thou hast lived too long. Draws a knife.

Messenger

Nay, then I'll run.

What mean you, madam? I have made no fault. Exit.

Charmian

Good madam, keep yourself within yourself:

The man is innocent.

Cleopatra

Some innocents scape not the thunderbolt.

Melt Egypt into Nile! and kindly creatures

Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again:

Though I am mad, I will not bite him: call.

Charmian

He is afeard to come.

Cleopatra

I will not hurt him. Exit Charmian.

These hands do lack nobility, that they strike

A meaner than myself; since I myself

Have given myself the cause. Re-enter CHARMIAN and Messenger. Come hither, sir.

Though it be honest, it is never good

To bring bad news: give to a gracious message.

An host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell

Themselves when they be felt.

Messenger

I have done my duty.

Cleopatra

Is he married?

I cannot hate thee worser than I do,

If thou again say “Yes.”

Messenger

He's married, madam.

Cleopatra

The gods confound thee! dost thou hold there still?

Messenger

Should I lie, madam?

Cleopatra

O, I would thou didst,

So half my Egypt were submerged and made

A cistern for scaled snakes! Go, get thee hence:

Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me

Thou wouldst appear most ugly. He is married?

Messenger

I crave your highness' pardon.

Cleopatra

He is married?

Messenger

Take no offence that I would not offend you:

To punish me for what you make me do.

Seems much unequal: he's married to Octavia.

Cleopatra

O, that his fault should make a knave of thee,

That art not what th' art sure of! Get thee hence:

The merchandise which thou hast brought from Rome

Are all too dear for me: lie they upon thy hand,

And be undone by 'em! Exit Messenger.

Charmian

Good your highness, patience.

Cleopatra

In praising Antony, I have dispraised Caesar.

Charmian

Many times, madam.

Cleopatra

I am paid for't now.

Lead me from hence:

I faint: O Iras, Charmian! 'tis no matter.

Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him

Report the feature of Octavia, her years,

Her inclination, let him not leave out

The colour of her hair: bring me word quickly. Exit Alexas.

Let him for ever go: let him not, Charmian,

Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon,

The other way's a Mars. Bid you Alexas To Mardian.

Bring me word how tall she is. Pity me, Charmian,

But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber. Exeunt.