Jack Cade

So, sirs: now go some and pull down the Savoy; others to the inns of court; down with them all.

Dick the butcher

I have a suit unto your lordship.

Jack Cade

Be it a lordship, thou shalt have it for that word.

Dick the butcher

Only that the laws of England may come out of your mouth.

John Holland

Mass, 'twill be sore law, then; for he was thrust in the mouth with a spear, and 'tis not whole yet.

Smith the weaver

Nay, John, it will be stinking law; for his breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.

Jack Cade

I have thought upon it, it shall be so. Away, burn all the records of the realm: my mouth shall be the parliament of England.

John Holland

Then we are like to have biting statutes, unless his teeth be pulled out.

Jack Cade

And henceforward all things shall be in common.

Messenger

My lord, a prize, a prize! here's the Lord Say, which sold the towns in France; he that made us pay one and twenty fifteens, and one shilling to the pound, the last subsidy.

Jack Cade

Well, he shall be beheaded for it ten times. Ah, thou say, thou serge, nay, thou buckram lord! now art thou within pointblank of our jurisdiction regal. What canst thou answer to my majesty for giving up of Normandy unto Mounsieur Basimecu, the dauphin of France? Be it known unto thee by these presence, even the presence of Lord Mortimer, that I am the besom that must sweep the court clean of such filth as thou art. Thou hast most traitorously corrupted the youth of the realm in erecting a grammar school: and whereas, before, our forefathers had no other books but the score and the tally, thou hast caused printing to be used, and, contrary to the king, his crown and dignity, thou hast built a paper-mill. It will be proved to thy face that thou hast men about thee that usually talk of a noun and a verb, and such abominable words as no Christian ear can endure to hear. Thou hast appointed justices of peace, to call poor men before them about matters they were not able to answer. Moreover, thou hast put them in prison; and because they could not read, thou hast hanged them; when, indeed, only for that cause they have been most worthy to live. Thou dost ride in a footcloth, dost thou not?

Say

What of that?

Jack Cade

Marry, thou oughtest not to let thy horse wear a cloak, when honester men than thou go in their hose and doublets.

Dick the butcher

And work in their shirt too; as myself for example, that am a butcher.

Say

You men of Kent, —

Dick the butcher

What say you of Kent?

Say

Nothing but this; 'tis “bona terra, mala gens.”

Jack Cade

Away with him, away with him; he speaks Latin.

Say

Hear me but speak, and bear me where you will.

Kent, in the Commentaries Caesar writ,

Is termed the civil'st place of all this isle:

Sweet is the country, because full of riches;

The people liberal, valiant, active, wealthy;

Which makes me hope you are not void of pity.

I sold not Maine, I lost not Normandy,

Yet, to recover them, would lose my life.

Justice with favour have I always done;

Prayers and tears have moved me, gifts could never.

When have I aught exacted at your hands,

But to maintain the king, the realm and you?

Large gifts have I bestowed on learned clerks,

Because my book preferred me to the king,

And seeing ignorance is the curse of God,

Knowledge the wing wherewith we fly to heaven,

Unless you be possessed with devilish spirits,

You cannot but forbear to murder me:

This tongue hath parleyed unto foreign kings

For your behoof, —

Jack Cade

Tut, when struck'st thou one blow in the field?

Say

Great men have reaching hands: oft have I struck

Those that I never saw and struck them dead.

George Bevis

O monstrous coward! what, to come behind folks?

Say

These cheeks are pale for watching for your good.

Jack Cade

Give him a box o' the ear and that will make 'em red again.

Say

Long sitting to determine poor men's causes

Hath made me full of sickness and diseases.

Jack Cade

Ye shall have a hempen caudle then and the help of hatchet.

Dick the butcher

Why dost thou quiver, man?

Say

The palsy, and not fear, provokes me.

Jack Cade

Nay, he nods at us, as who should say, I'll be even with you: I'll see if his head will stand steadier on a pole, or no. Take him away, and behead him.

Say

Tell me wherein have I offended most?

Have I affected wealth or honour? speak.

Are my chests filled up with extorted gold?

Is my apparel sumptuous to behold?

Whom have I injured, that ye seek my death?

These hands are free from guiltless bloodshedding,

This breast from harbouring foul deceitful thoughts.

O, let me live!

Jack Cade

I feel remorse in myself with his words; but I'll bridle it: he shall die, an it be but for pleading so well for his life. Away with him! he has a familiar under his tongue; he speaks not a' God's name. Go, take him away, I say, and strike off his head presently; and then break into his son-in-law's house, Sir James Cromer, and strike off his head, and bring them both upon two poles hither.

All

It shall be done.

Say

Ah, countrymen! if when you make your prayers,

God should be so obdurate as yourselves,

How would it fare with your departed souls?

And therefore yet relent, and save my life.

Jack Cade

Away with him! and do as I command ye. The proudest peer in the realm shall not wear a head on his shoulders, unless he pay me tribute; there shall not a maid be married, but she shall pay to me her maidenhead ere they have it: men shall hold of me in capite; and we charge and command that their wives be as free as heart can wish or tongue can tell.

Dick the butcher

My lord, when shall we go to Cheapside and take up commodities upon our bills?

Jack Cade

Marry, presently.

All

O, brave!

Jack Cade

But is not this braver? Let them kiss one another, for they loved well when they were alive. Now part them again, lest they consult about the giving up of some more towns in France. Soldiers, defer the spoil of the city until night: for with these borne before us, instead of maces, will we ride through the streets; and at every corner have them kiss. Away!